Human World Pandemonium
by pumpkinsandcoconuts
Summary: Aizen gives the espada a treat. They get to go to the human world!
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: The Espada go to the human world for a break.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not the Espada, Bleach, or any other characters, they belong to Tite Kubo. I also don't own Anger Management or Disney (of course).**

**Warning: could possibly contain shounen-ai, not sure yet, but it could in the future. Also contains bad language. **

**Human World Pandemonium**

The espada sat around the meeting table, quit, hands folded, and eyes staring ahead gazing with wonder, and amazement up at their strikingly handsome leader. They worshipped and followed his ever order no questions asked. Said leaders two personal minions stood on either side of him proudly basking in his glorious- wait. No. Not the right story. Sorry Aizen, but that could only happen in your wildest dreams. Actually let's be straight here even in his wildest dreams that couldn't happen.

In actuality the espada were acting like mad men. Harribel was beating up Nnoitra. Nnoitra was screaming.

Yammy was singing I Feel Pretty. Zommari was trying, and failing, to shut Yammy up.

Stark was sleeping (isn't he always?). Szayel was trying to stop his new experiment from killing Grimmjow, who was currently screaming like a little girl yet still managed to cuss like a sailor (talent?).

Aaroniero was arguing with itself on how to spell its name.

Barrigan was grumbling about 'disrespectful youngsters'.

Tosen was preaching about justice, of course no one listened, but a guy can try, right?

All the while, Ichimaru was smiling like a creep taking in the sight of his wonderful plotting. Wait. What? HIS plotting? Of course, Szayel's experiment didn't get here on its own. Yammy hadn't been the one who bought Anger Management from the human world. Aaroniero wouldn't have had doubts about how to spell his name had Gin not brought the subject up. And Nnoitra hadn't actually been taking Harribel's underwear, though you know he thought about it. Stark…well Stark is Stark. Barrigan wouldn't have broken his hip if 'youngsters' coughgincough, hadn't been playing around in his tower. And then Ulquiorra, well actually Ulquiorra pretty much doing exactly what the begging of the story said, so um yea he wasn't responsible for that.

As Gin chuckled in the corner, and the arrancar were fighting (except Ulquiorra), Aizen was having a mental breakdown of types.

He watched the mayhem taking place in front of him with wide horrified eyes. How could it have turned out like this? His precious little subordinates had gone mad. Mad I tell you! Mad!!!

Aizen slowly curled up in the fetal position into his chair and started rocking back and forth, muttering.

If Ulquiorra's face could show emotion then right now it would be showing something akin to worry, as he looked up at his leader. Cuddled in a ball. Crying. Yes the infamous leader Aizen-sama the Great, was crying.

"Oi, you bastard get this thing off me!" Grimmjow yell split through the air momentarily distracting Ulquiorra.

"Trash"

"What did you call me you Bastard?!"

"No! Harribel, stop, stop, please, I didn't do it I swear!"

"Oh? So you didn't steal from me?"

"No!"  
"Liar!"

_Crack_

_Scream _

"It's not A-a-e-r-o-n-e; it's A-y-e-e-r-o-n-i-e"

"I Feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay~" (Glass brakes somewhere)

"Shut up!"

"And I pity any Girl who's not my today"

"Not you too, Stark! Why cruel fate? Why?!"

_Snore_

"Justice is not something that can be restricted; if it takes me to the end of time I will, blah, blah, blah, blah."

"These disrespectful brats, why back in my day we didn't talk back to our superiors we followed orders no lip about it. Now though blah, blah, blah (again)"

"Grimmjow I think I'm going to have to cut off your arm to remove the experiment."

"What?! No way!"

"Oh, come on don't be a baby you've had it removed before."

"You're fuckin enjoying this aren't you?!"

Grimmjow was right about that one at least Szayel could hardly contain his excitement. He had wanted to test the experiment (which he shall now name Kittyeater 5,000) on someone, and this just worked out to his advantage. Though he had no clue how Kittyeater 5,000 had gotten out, but hey, it worked to his advantage. He also got to have the extreme pleasure of extracting revenge upon Grimmjow, his day was made.

As all this was going on Gin noticed Aizen curled up in his throne, and had a wonderful ideal. Wonderfully evil, that is. He, he, he, he, hoo, hoo, hoo, ha, ha, ha, ha, ho, ho, ho- choke, cough, cough. Sorry about that.

Ichimaru shunpoed (A/N: I think that's right…) over to Aizen and leaned down whispering something into his ear.

Whatever it was that he had said, made Aizen straighten and regain the small amount of composure he had left.

As Ulquiorra saw this he cheered, at the revival his god made. Okay mentally cheered. Ulquiorra doesn't cheer out loud; he's to cool for that.

"Everyone," Aizen said calmly, trying to snag the attention of the bickering arrancar.

Of course they (not including Ulquiorra) ignored him.

Letting anger get the best of him, Aizen let out a small amount of reitsu, making everyone freeze in place.

"Now that I have your attention, I would like to make an announcement."

"Bout damn time." Nnoitra muttered

Harribel smacked him upside the head.

"What was that for you bi-" before Nnoitra could finish his sentence, a cup came flying hitting him on the head.

"Who the hell threw that?!" He screamed, jumping up from his chair.

All eyes automatically turned to Grimmjow, who held up his hands. "I declare my innocents, it was him!" he yelled pointing towards Ulquiorra.

Now all eyes turned to Ulquiorra, and for the first time noticed an unsightly, horrifying fact. His tea cup was gone! Dun, dun, dun!

"So it was you," Nnoitra growled.

Ulquiorra paused as if considering something. Then lifted his skinny arm to point at Nnoitra.

"Spoon."

Silence

Silence

Cricket, cricket, silence

"HA, HA, HA, HA, HA," Grimmjow roared. Soon the whole room full of espada started chuckling then laughing. Even Aizen and Tosen cracked a grin. Whoa.

Nnoitra on the other hand was being a spoil sport, and was about to pop a blood vessel.

"Why, you little-"

"Come on, Nnoitra can't you take a joke," Grimmjow grinned.

"You sure seem to dish it out enough," Szayel said, and started laughing his ass off again.

"Now that, that's over with, I wish to make an announcement. I have an ideal!" The espada stopped their laughing and stared up at Aizen with a slightly fearful look in their eyes. Last time that guy had an ideal things didn't work out to well.

Disney, and the espada didn't mix, that was just fact.

As if they weren't scared enough at the thought of it being his ideal, what Aizen said next, would really get them. "Actually it was Gin's ideal."

They all tensed, Grimmjow turned a sickening color green. Though that might be becouse Kittyeater 5000 had made its nest on top of his head

"You all have been working quite hard so I'm going to give you a treat."

Everything was quite.

"We're going to the human world!"

Grimmjow fainted.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

To Be Continued…


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Same as before, I don't own Bleach, or its characters, they belong to Tite Kubo.

Warning: Possible shounen-ai, and bad language.

And thank you Vilaagua, for the reply I was mainly confused on if for Gin, Aizen, and Tousen you would say Shunpo, or Sonido, but thank you for the wonderful review!

And now onto the story!

Human World Pandemonium Chapter 2

The Espada stared at their leader. Of course their leader stared back. They continued this little staring contest for about fifteen minutes or so, before Gin started getting board.

"So when we leavin Aizen-san?" He asked.

Aizen cleared his throat, and turned to his right hand man, obviously relieved that someone had broken the tension. "Well I would say we leave immediately…"

"I'm sorry Aizen-sama, but I believe that would be impossible." Szayel said, quickly adding "The gigai's wouldn't be ready by that time."

Aizen huffed, obviously annoyed by the setback. "Very well then, we leave first thing tomorrow." He declared.

"We? As in you as well Aizen-sama?" Zommari asked.

"Of, course I mean how would you possibly all get along without me?"

No-one said anything but the unspoken thought drifted through all the espadas mind.

_A lot better than with you._

Of course this was not Ulquiorra's thought process his was more along the lines of-

_I guess if this is Aizen-sama's wish… At least he's coming along as well. That would be for the better right? Right? Why is no-one answering me?! Oh, wait right. _

Anyways, back to Aizen. "Well," He said, "you all had better start packing, don't want to be late now do we?"

Grimmjow, who was currently lying on the floor, with a giant blob nesting on the top of his head, lifted himself up slightly to speak. "Late for what?"

"Why for the apartment check in of course."

"Wait a second I thought we were suppose be taking a short break, why do we need apartments for that? Aren't they like a living in thing?" Stark asked finally awakening from his dream about marshmallows and gumdrops, in the land of sweets and candy. And people wonder why he loves sleeping so much. I mean who doesn't love candy?

"Don't question my authoritie!" Aizen bellowed, pointing his finger accusingly at Stark. Who immediately collapsed, this time having more nightmarish dreams about broccoli and asparagus. Why oh why?!

"You all should be thanking me for my unending kindness. I mean I could have just left you all in boxes on the side of the road, where you might be picked up by flesh eating cannibals, or worse!"

Now each of the espada began thinking about the _or worse _part.

For Harribel, it was of course, some weird creeped out pervert. Too bad for her there already was one of those living with them, someone whose name started with an N ended with an A, and had a striking resemblance to a spoon.

For Zommari it was rich people. He didn't really know, just didn't really like them.

Yammy it was anorexics! His worst nightmare! He couldn't possibly go without his twenty meals a day!

For Szayel it was idiots. Of course he could never escape from there type though, they were everywhere! Everywhere I tell you! They never quite!

For Aaroniero it was kids! He was not a fish bowl! I mean come on people!

For Nnoitra it was geeks. They scared the living crap out of him! With all their smartness, and…and geekiness, it just scared him!

To Barrigan it was, well, a retirement home, probably.

For Ulquiorra it was happy people. Ugh! Did he even need to explain?

For Stark it was chatty people. If people didn't shut up, how was he ever supposed to sleep?

Of course for Grimmjow it was dog lovers, Ugh all the dogs! The horror! The horror of it all!

"Dismissed," Aizen said.

The espada all rose and started walking back to their respective towers, each too lost in their own thoughts to fight with one another.

Except for one, who was kinda freaking out, though he would never admit it.

"Umm, guys? Szayel?" Grimmjow said from his place on the floor, Kitty eater 5,000 had managed to curl itself around Grimmjow, meaning he could no longer move.

"Help?"

Unfortunately no one seemed to hear him, or at least those who had didn't care enough to help coughstarkcough, and he was left alone in darkness.

Wait, scratch that. There was someone else there with him.

"Eh? Grimmy-chan? Whatcha doing down there?"

Crap.

_**Somewhere else **_

Szayel was walking down the hall, towards his room, contemplating what it would be like in the human world. Unlike the majority of the espada, he was actually partway excited about the trip. There were a lot experiments that had yet to be tested. The second the others start letting their guard down, he would be there, to make their lives Hell!

Szayel stopped and started laughing madly. Unfortunately for Nnoitra he needed to talk to said mad scientist, but couldn't really find a way to, when he was being…well, mad.

"Um, Szayel?"

More laughing.

"Can I uh, talk to you?"

Laughing harder.

"Oi, I don't have all day."

Szayel bent over laughing even harder.

Seeing that his current tactic wasn't working to well, Nnoitra decided to try a more… effective way at getting the scientist attention.

Next thing Szayel knew he was being slammed into the wall by a thoroughly annoyed Quinta.

"Listen to me nut job," Szayel huffed at the title.

"I need your help with something, and I need you to listen to me becouse I don't have all day to be doing this."

"Yes, well I don't either, you know hollows to mutate, fraction to eat the normal gig." Szayel said shrugging.

Nnoitra growled, "I need something that will make Harribel fall for me."

"Oh?" Szayel said in surprise, "I didn't know you had feeling for Harribel."

"I don't but, well, she's hot." Nnoitra explained simply. Szayel rolled his eyes at this; Nnoitra was defiantly not the deepest person in the world that was for sure.

"Well? Can you help me?"

"Fine, I MIGHT have something for you, but there are 2 conditions." Szayel said raising two fingers.

"K, shoot"

"Firstly you have to let me down." Nnoitra grumbled a little but released the effeminate man none the less.

"Secondly, you must swear to me you NEVER tell ANYONE who gave you 'lovers love potion' to you okay?"

"'Lovers love potion'?" Nnoitra laughed.

"Yes, and no I did not come up with the name myself it was Verona," Szayel said turning away from him

He had come up with the name of course he had thought it creative! But no one had to know this.

Szayel started walking. Nnoitra scoffed, but decided to follow him anyway.

_**Now to Ulquiorra **_

Ulquiorra was walking to his room thinking about the trip. He would never complain of course, it was his Aizen-sama's ideal and all. But still he couldn't help but think how bad of an ideal this all was. I mean really what was Aizen thinking? Taking Grimmjow or Nnoitra to the human world?

As Ulquiorra was pondering the 'vacation' he stuck his hand into his pocket. If he had a heart it probably would have missed a beat. His face showed something akin to horror, as he started patting the pockets down and turning them inside out.

Realizing that it was not on his persons, Ulquiorra hurried to his room, hoping to Aizen-sama that his precious object was there.

It wasn't. He tore his own room apart, and still could not find it. Where oh where could it possibly be!

That was when he figured it out. It was in the meeting room! The same room Aizen –Sama was in! What if he saw it?! He could not allow that!

Ulquiorra, stated running determined to get his precious item back!

_**Now to Grimmjow**_

Oh. My. Aizen-sama. Make it stop! The Horrors!

These were Grimmjow's thoughts as Ichimaru clapped at what was on the screen in front of them.

The Horrors! It was too much! Grimmjow tried moving but Szayel's stupid experiment only tightened its death grip.

Out of the corner of his eyes he noticed something under the table where Ulquiorra always sat. Before he could evaluate it any further though the singing started.

Grimmjow screamed.

_**Somewhere else again**_

Szayel and Nnoitra froze on their way to his lab.

Nnoitra turned to him fearfully "di-did you hear that?"

Szayel turned with the same look in his eyes, "Ye-yea, what do you think i-it was?"

Nnoitra gulped, remembering the story Tousen, had told them about how bad children were taken away by the Chupicabra. Then Gin had come and told them how the spirits of those bad children now haunted these very walls and that they were looking for revenge upon all the other bad kids, for what had happened to them.

That story had for some reason struck close to their hearts. Probably becouse one was a heartless bastard who experimented on things for fun, and the other was a shameless pervert. But that's only a guess.

So the scream that had split the air seconds before had kinda freaked them out.

"I don't know, but let's get out of here!"

So the two sonidoed out of there, quicker than you could say boo.

_**With Ulquiorra**_

Ulquiorra heard the scream, and remembered Tousen's, and Gin's story about the children. He paused somewhat scared though he would never admit it. The story had freaked him out a bit too though he should be immune to ghost stories, frankly speaking, becouse he is a ghost. Also becouse the story was utterly ridiculous! Still…

Ulquiorra shook his head. No! He couldn't be distracted from his mission! He must het his precious item back!

But that scream… it had come from the direction of the meeting room…maybe he could get it tomorrow? No, that wouldn't work they had to leave first thing in the morning.

So his choices were either go to the room with the screaming, and retrieve his object of affection, or leave it hopping that no one finds it within the amount of time they were gone, and there was no telling how long that would be.

Making up his mind Ulquiorra took a deep breath and made his way towards the meeting room.

_**With Grimmjow**_

Oh, Aizen-sama I beg of you please make it stop! Forgive me for my insolence just make it stop!!!!!!!

_**Somewhere else**_

"Okay, I think we're safe," Szayel huffed; he was bent over hands on his knees trying to regain his breath.

Nnoitra nodded, he was in the same position as Szayel.

"About the up lovely love potion or whatever you call it,"

"It's called the lovers love potion, and it's right over here," Szayel walked over to a cabinet filled with strangely colored bottles.

Nnoitra looked at them, but was too afraid to actually touch. He noticed a few of them were moving, and almost lost his lunch. Yes he had a weak stomach, but it was only towards the things Szayel made! He shivered remembering the time Szayel had made dinner; the residents at Los Nochas still couldn't look at chicken and keep the contents of their stomach down. Which was a shame chicken had been Ulquiorra's favorite food.

"Ah," Szayel exclaimed reaching out for a greenish looking liquid, smiling at it triumphantly before handing it over to Nnoitra. Who took it hesitantly.

"Szayel are you sure this stuff is safe?"

"What do you care? Long as it works right?"

"Szayel."

Szayel sighed, "Yes Nnoitra it is perfectly safe, only the first three test subjects had a conniption, and I've perfected the ingredients since then," he said encouragingly.

Nnoitra twitched, the encouragement hadn't worked.

"It should work perfectly fine without any negative side effects, okay? You just pour a bit into the victims drink and it'll blend right in. The person falls madly in love with you and you-"

"Wait What?!"

"What now Nnoitra?" Szayel asked irritably, he had a lot to do before they left, he couldn't be held up by the pervert today!

"I don't want her to fall in love with me!"

"Nnoitra, it's either this or nothing. Anyways the effects should wear off in about two to seven days."

"That long?! I don't want a lover Szayel, just sex!"

Szayel glared at him, and Nnoitra glared back.

"Fine!" He yelled after a few minutes, "but this had better wear off or there will be consequences!"

_**With Ulquiorra**_

Ulquiorra hesitated at the door to the meeting room. Truthfully he wasn't really ready to die yet. He still had things he wanted to do, places he wanted to see. But it was now or never. He needed that object back, and by Aizen-sama he would get it!

Taking a deep breath Ulquiorra slowly turned the knob and pushed on the door, expecting most any horror that could be waiting in there for him.

Unfortunately what greeted his eyes on the other side of the door was something that he never would have expected.

_**With Grimmjow**_

Grimmjow faintly heard a creaking noise of the door being opened and noticed Gin turn in his seat to greet the unfortunate visitor.

He was too far gone, to care though. It was all too much, nothing mattered anymore.

_**With Ulquiorra**_

What Ulquiorra saw on the other side was just plain wrong. Grimmjow apparently hadn't been able to free himself of Szayels experiment, and was now tied to the chair by the creature's long tentacles.

"Hey there Ulqui-chan," Gin said, but Ulquiorra simply ignored him.

He couldn't see Grimmjow's face becouse he was facing the wrong direction, but he could still tell that Grimmjow was horrified. Truthfully he would be too, for on the screen was the most despicable, horrifying, terrible thing humans had ever created.

Object quickly forgotten, Ulquiorra slammed the door shut again.

_**Gin**_

"Well that was rather rude don't ya think?" Gin said turning towards Grimmjow, whose eyes were wide with fright staring straight ahead. He quickly gave up on a reply

"Gin, what's going on?"

Ichimaru turned to the owner of the voiced and saw Aizen. "Ah, Aizen-san! What are ya doin here?"

"Um, well I was coming to ask you about the arrangements to the human world but…if this is bad timing…"

"Oh, no, no, it's perfectly fine! In fact why don't you come and join us?"

"Okay, but is Grimmjow alright?"

"Of course he's just so amazed with the movie, he can hardly stand it."

Aizen shrugged and went to sit in the chair next to Gin.

"Ooooh I love this show!" Aizen exclaimed clapping excitedly

"I know isn't it just amazing?"

"Of course The Little Mermaid is the best Disney movie ever!"

To Be Continued…

Okay I agree, this was a pretty stupid chapter, sorry…


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Not Bleach, nor its characters.**

**Warning: possible shounen-ai, and of course bad language.**

**Okay to start out with I am terribly sorry about such a late update, not to mention the shortness of it…but I should have a new hopefully longer, chapter out soon. Like really soon. So please, don't be to mad at me…And again thank you all for such great comments!**

**Human World Pandemonium**

Ulquiorra walked swiftly through the halls of Los Noches. He was a man on a mission and nothing was going to distract him tonight. Well unless of course a headless mutated chicken came screeching down the hall squawking bloody murder, or one of Szayels other cooking mistakes appeared. Ulquiorra still had nightmares about some of the monstrosities that had been on that table, the chicken was the only one he could stomach to think of. And that was the nicely prepared chicken… poor Ulquiorra he could no longer stand the sight of his favorite food, maybe that's why he's always so sad…

Anyways back to the mission. His precious object was still missing, of course he believed that he knew the location of said object, but that was yet to be determined for sure. Since of course he couldn't possibly have entered while THAT was playing.

For once Ulquiorra actually felt sorry for Grimmjow. Not only did he have to watch THAT movie, but a whole marathon of Disney movies as well. After seeing THAT movie, Aizen-sama felt compelled to see even more, and well that was when Grimmjow's hell, continued.

But still none of this changed the fact that, not only were Gin and Grimmjow in the room with his precious object, but Aizen-sama as well. He could only pray that either none of them saw his precious, or they were too distracted to care. After around twelve hours of Disney, Aizen-sama in all his mercy decided to allow Grimmjow to leave to finish packing saying 'play time's over, it's time to get back to work'. Grimmjow could only get out of there so fast.

Ulquiorra knew all this because of the fact that he had been hiding behind the door biding his time, to try and rescue his beloved. Of course he was also almost crushed in Grimmjow's haste to get away. But who could blame him?

Unfortunately Gin had seen him, called out to him, and in terror of suffering the same fate as Grimmjow, Ulquiorra had booted it out of there fast as he could.

So here he was stalking around the castle trying to get to the meeting room unnoticed like some fugitive. It was he might add, quite insulting, but he would do most anything to get his precious back. And by anything I do mean anything.

_**Now over to Grimm-kitty**_

Grimmjow was hunched over his bed taking one deep breath after another. Although he was horrified, scared for the rest of his life, and would never be able to look at wonderful fish the same, he felt a strange amount of…happiness. I know weird right? He had just been through the worst experience in his life and he felt… happy. But now he knew he could do anything. If he could sit through fourteen hours of Disney, then by-golly he could survive whatever else this world had to through at him! (A/N so he thinks hehehe)

That was when Grimmjow remembered something about a little something under a little someone's chair. Grimmjow grinned evilly rising from his bed, a new glorious plan had entered his brain and he didn't plan on letting this opportunity go.

_**Ulqui**_

For some reason Ulquiorra suddenly got a strange feeling in his gut, one that was telling him something bad was about to happen.

Fearing the worst Ulquiorra started walking faster. Aizen-sama knows why he didn't just sonid to the meeting room like another blue haired cretin, but whatever.

_**Grimm-kitty**_

Grimmjow bent down to pick up the little black book that was situated under Ulquiorra's chair. He grinned as he opened the leather binding and read what was on the first page. He just couldn't help himself from letting out a short laugh at what was on said page, but he was sure this would be excellent blackmail material.

Hearing someone coming, Grimmjow sonid away, feeling the exact opposite of what another would be soon.

_**Ulqui**_

Ulquiorra practically through the doors off the hinges as he hurriedly entered the meeting room, the bad feeling he had before had increased tenfold, and his nerves were getting the best of him.

The moment he entered the room he knew it was too late though for even from the doorway he could see there was no book under his chair. That didn't stop him from tearing the place up trying to find it thought. He was in such a hurry he hadn't even thought about what Aizen would say, all that mattered was the book. But after a few frantic minutes it became quite obvious. His diary was missing!

Dun, dun, dun, To Be continued….


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Due to a number of reasons I do not own Bleach, or its characters, one of those reasons being I did not come up with them. :( **

**Warning: Possible shounen-ai in the future, and bad language.**

**And as always thank you all so very much for all the wonderful reviews! They really can make a person's day =D **

**Now unto the story!**

**Human World Pandemonium**

Ulquiorra paced his room anxiously; he had been up all night worrying and had hardly gotten any sleep at all. Of course he had a good reason to be doing such a thing. His precious diary had been stolen! I mean who wouldn't be worried in a case like this? What was written in that little book could not be seen by the eyes of others! It would ruin his reputation!

Alas, he would have to be leaving soon, for that was Aizen-sama's wish, and Aizen-sama's wish/word was law. Luckily though Ulquiorra was up, and Aizen wasn't. That meant he still had some time to try and find whatever fiend that had taken his precious item and make them pay for all they had done

With this in mind Ulquiorra hastily exited the room, determined to find the diary, before anything to bad could happen. He could only pray that Aizen himself had not found the book, or for Aizen-sama's sake Gin or Grimmjow had not found it. Ulquiorra shuddered at the thought.

_**____________________________________**_

Grimmjow howled with laughter, before remembering that everyone else was asleep and he quickly clamped a hand over his mouth. He would never be able to forget what a pissed of Szayel without his beauty sleep, Harribel with a face mask, and a freshly awoken Stark, could do with a few biscuits, burritos, and feathers. Ugh he still had nightmares about that incident. Actually now that he thought about it, everyone in Hueco Mundo seemed to have nightmares about some incident or another. Quite a few said nightmares involved Szayel too…huh.

Anyways back to the point. Grimmjow was reading (yes reading, an amazing feat I know) a passage out of a certain Emocarrs diary. A passage that made Grimmjow's day, and would most certainly make a number of people faint at the out of character words written on the page.

Of course the noble good thing to do would be to return the diary to its rightful owner, without snooping. But really, 'noble'? Psh, no. Why would he ever do something noble? That was for the good guys in a story, and besides how fun would that be? Let me tell you, none.

Now the Grimmjow thing to do would be to steal the diary, read every juicy detail in it, and then blackmail the owner of said diary. Now that one sounded like fun, don't you agree? Actually I think the real question here would be, does Grimmjow care either way?

_**__________________________________________**_

Szayel groaned as he was woken from his slumbering, by a loud knocking. At first he thought it was just the new experiment trying to fight its way out of his enforced closet. It would never succeed so he decided to ignore it.

He only figured out that that was not the case when he heard a loud crash and was thrown of his bed by a very angry 'Emocarr' as Grimmjow put it. Oh god, now he was repeating Grimmjow, what had become of him?

Groaning Szayel resituated himself from his position on the floor to a more comfortable position…on the floor.

"Szayel I have something very urgent I must ask you. It is of great importance and a reasonable answer is required. I will not take no for an answer, you must at least attempt to answer this next question, which I repeat is quite urgent."

_Then why are you still talking?_

"Now this might sound a little strange and all. I mean I must admit it is quite a strange question, and why I myself do not know the answer to such a thing is unfathomable,"

_I think this is the most I've ever heard him say…_

"but of course I am not as accustomed to this stuff as others such as yourself might be. I also feel compelled to ask another question that has only come to me within the past few minutes, because I could have sworn that you kept all your experiments in your lab. Yet this is not you lab this is your room."

Szayel rubbed his temples, he could already feel a headache coming on, and they weren't even in the human world yet.

"So I must ask why do I keep hearing screams coming from this general direction during the day, yet also hear screams emanating from your lab? And for what reason is your closet door shaking? That of course was two questions not one, and I am sorry for the incorrect information, but I really must know, and-"

"Ulquiorra!" Szayel yelled, quieting the strange Espada (weren't they all). Of course this quietness was only temporary, for when Ulqui saw that Szayel was not going to continue (of course he was going to continue, but Ulqui doesn't know what a 'break' is) he himself decided to continue instead.

"I am truly sorry. Not only have I woken you up from your slumber, but I have also wasted your time with useless questions. Well actually they would probably only be useless to you, not me, but I must ask all the same. You of course must answer all the same for I am your superior, and you are below me in rank. That was of course implied from the 'I am your superior' but you get my drift."

Szayel sighed.

"Anyway that woman that Aizen-sama has prisoner says that I don't talk enough. She says it might be a good thing for me to get a therapist as well. What's a 'therapist' anyway? Do you know Szayel?"

Szayel twitched "Yes, Ulquiorra I know what a therapist is."

"Do you think I need one? I mean the women obviously does, and when I asked Gin he said people often said the same type of thing to him, so I don't really get what we both could possibly have in common to need one. So do you think I need a 'therapist?"

"Right now I'm starting to think you need a lot of things."

"I can't really say I'm following…but whatever, I mean I barely ever understand what that woman is saying anymore. And is there something in the air here? Because I don't think I've ever heard me talk this much. I am talking a lot don't you think Szayel?"

"Yes, Ulquiorra I do, now why don't you try stopping and letting me talk. Answer your questions then you can go on your way and I on mi-"

"That would be great and all Szayel but I don't think I can stop,"

"You what?"

"I don't think I can stop, I mean I'm trying, I truly am, it's just not working. Am I going to die? I heard once from Gin I think or maybe Tousen? I'm not really sure, but anyways I heard that there was once an Espada fourth I think, like myself, who was normally quiet, but once someone got him to start talking he wouldn't shut up and he ended up dying from lack of oxygen, which is kind of weird if you think about it because we don't need oxygen do we? I mean we are dead and all so what would be the point of oxygen? But we have blood, and we can suffocate right? I also don't get why you can die in the afterlife. Doesn't that just defeat the point? Do you think I'm going die Szayel?"

"I would only be so luck" _Dear Aizen-sama yes die already! Die you stupid idiot! Wait…stupid idiot...that's not right is it? Wouldn't that just be-wait! No! He's starting to get to me! I have to get him out!_

"Ulquiorra, what was it you came to talk to me about?"

"Hm? Oh right! It's about a precious item of mine and a person I suspect has it."

"Okay…"

"You are familiar with the Espada names Grimmjow yes?"

"Uh, yea I guess, I mean my latest experiment did just try and kill him and all. So, uh, yea…"

"Yes, yes, well whatever I don't need to hear your whole life story!"

"…"

"Come now, rambling never did help anyone, all I needed was a yes or no answer!"

"…Ulquiorra why are you here?"

Ulquiorra paused, looking almost embarrassed. "um well, I kind of…. Well I kind of lost something and…."

"Yes I got that," Szayel sighed, "what I would like to know is what is you want to know about Grimmjow."

Ulquiorra shifted, "well, I kind of need to know where he lives."

"Che, well that's a stupid question, in Hueco Mundo of course." A new voice said.

Ulquiorra froze. "Nnoitra, What are you doing here?" He hadn't heard about his precious item had he?!

Nnoitra scoffed obviously annoyed with Ulquiorra, he needed to ask Szayel something and he couldn't possible do that with Ulquiorra standing there like the douche he was. He couldn't possible let them all figure out he was a perv right? Too bad, they already knew…

"What's it to you emo boy?"

"I am not an emo."

"Heh, not according to human society."

"Nnoitra, we're not even human! I don't really think their opinion matters that much. And just so you know I would say it's pretty obvious he lives in Hueco Mundo, you don't have to be genius to figure that out. Which, I might as well mention, you are not."

"Why you little!"

"Wow, amazing comeback there spoony, you are so not stupid at all. And yes that was sarcasm; you are in fact quite stupid."

Seeing that Nnoitra was about to blow a gasket, Szayel decided to intervene. "Ulquiorra if you really must know Grimmjow's residence is down the hall to the left, the right, then straight, then you go through two double gold doors, or maybe there white? I think Aizen did a bit of redecorating so I'm not entirely sure…Anyways go through the double doors, make a left at the third intersection, then go straight passed twenty something doors, finally you'll reach another break off this time take a right, or maybe a left…not entirely sure, but just follow the smell of catnip, and you'll be there in no time!" Szayel said, rather unhelpfully.

Ulquiorra stared at him.

Nnoitra stared at him.

They were actually able to agree on something! Albeit mentally, but whatever, an agreement was an agreement right? And this agreement had to do with, never asking Szayel for directions. Ever.

Szayel sighed, "Must I repeat it again?"

Ulquiorra decided against having the scientist repeat the directions simply, because he had a 'feeling' that Aizen-sama would be up soon, and he still hadn't packed! As important as his diary was, he couldn't possible go against Aizen-sama's word!

"No, thank you Szayel I really must get going, I have some important business to attend to." With that Ulquiorra quickly fled the room.

"Now that he's gone I need to ask you something Szayel," Nnoitra said.

"Not now Nnoitra! I have things to be doing!"

"What?! But you were just helping Ulquiorra!"

"So?"

"So?! So?!"

"My gosh, Nnoitra are you really so dumb you can't even form a coherent sentence?"

"But, but,"

"No buts mister! Shoo, shoo I don't have time for your tom foolery!" Szayel yelled pushing Nnoitra out the door, before slamming it behind him. Man, watching hours of soap opera mothers having panic attacks could really pay of, who knew? And with that Szayel went to go check on his new closet experiment.

What Szayel hadn't been thinking about was that in most every drama, when someone does what he just did, something bad always seems to happen. This time was defiantly not an exception...

_**________________________**_

Nnoitra was standing in the pristine halls of Hueco Mundo felling kind of like he had just been shooed away by a somewhat eccentric mother, who was having a bad day. It kind of felt…weird…

As he pondered this new feeling he pretty much forgot his previous question about the lovely lovers love potion or whatever it was called. So instead of trying to break down the door the Szayels room and demand an answer, he opted to wonder off in a dream like state thinking about moms. Nice.

_**_______________________**_

Ulquiorra was early to the meeting, which was strange considering how he hadn't even been pack a few minutes ago. Well one minute and thirty-five seconds ago to be precise. What? He HAD to go fast I mean he couldn't be late for the meeting! It just wouldn't be acceptable for him to be the tenth out of ten to arrive! But it was acceptable to be the…first out of ten…he was a little crazy so what?

The next to arrive was amazingly enough Stark, who was carrying nothing more than a small duffle bag. Next were Barragan, then Harribel, Zommari, Aaroniero, and Yammy one after another. Ulquiorra only found a little strange that each followed one after another as if in line at preschool. I mean the doors were big enough for them all to line up next to one another and still have room for an extra Yammy!

Once the new arrivals had taken their seats, all was quiet, and somewhat tense.

After a few more minutes of nothing, the doors opened once again, this time to show a somewhat disgruntled Szayel, who quickly found his way to his seat.

Of course the last two would to arrive would be Grimmjow and Nnoitra, that wasn't unexpected at all. Ulquiorra sighed.

Just then a loud bang was heard throughout the meeting room, and not unexpectedly, Grimmjow was there with Nnoitra each trying to push the other out of the way.

"You bastard get you overly skinny ass out of my way!" Grimmjow bellowed, in a very Grimmjow-ish way.

"You get your fat ass out of MY way, you stupid testosterone driven maniac!" Nnoitra screamed in a very Nnoitra-ish way.

Why Aizen-sama hadn't disposed of those trash yet Ulquiorra will never know.

As Nnoitra and Grimmjow fought like cats and dogs, Aizen and his little crew found their own way into the room for once without making an overly flashy entrance.

"Nnoitra, Grimmjow please settle down." Aizen said trying to peacefully get the attention of two of his most battle crazy Espada. Of course this didn't work, but he tried right? And if the peaceful approach doesn't work, what approach do we try next?

So seeing as the two were being difficult and all, Aizen let out some of his reiatsu making the two freeze in place.

"In less you two want another helping of Szayels dinner night surprise I would suggest sitting down now." Aizen said. Grimmjow and Nnoitra scrambled to get to their chairs, fear of the unknown getting the best of them.

"It wasn't a 'surprise' it was chicken and spaghetti," Szayel huffed quietly obviously offended.

Ignoring this Aizen addressed the Espada, smiling he said, "I hope you all had a good night's rest and feel refreshed for we are soon to depart for the living world."

Something occurred to Grimmjow that he hadn't thought of before, "Hey are we bringing that women along with us?"

Aizen looked somewhat annoyed with the question, and answered in a condescending voice as if talking to a kid. "No Grimmjow we are not bringing Orihime with us, for precautionary reasons she must stay here so she won't escape. But not to worry I have appointed one of the lower ranking arrancar to take care of her and call me on my cell if anything happens."

"What's a cell?" Yammy asked.

Gin laughed, and Aizen sighed, "I see we have a lot of catching up to do…well that can wait until we are in the human world. Now Szayel I trust you have finished the Gaigais correct?"

"Yes sir"

"Good, then let's get going shall we?" Aizen said opening a gargantuan and motioning the others to go ahead. Gin went first noticing that the Espada did not seem to keen on going. Next was Tousen, then Ulquiorra, Harribel, Stark, and so on and so forth.

The human world's nightmare had just begun.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

_To Be Continued_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Again Bleach and its characters do not belong to me, quite unfortunate (for me) but true. **

**Warning: possible shounen-ai in the future, not sure though, and of course bad language. Oh, and some MAJOR OOC-ness, not kidding, the MAJOR is in caps for a reason…**

**As always thanks for reading and reviewing! **

**Human World Pandemonium**

Once all the Espada where in the human world Aizen hurried them into a nearby alley so they could change into the gaigai's. Of course Szayel, being the genius that he is, had decided to leave all the Espada's looks the same. Like the exact same. Except of course for Aaroniero who Szayel had decided would freak quite a few people out and possibly get them arrested, if his appearance wasn't changed so he looked like Kaine. Let's just hope they don't run into Rukia…

Anyways as consequence to not changing the rest of their looks in the slightest the Espada still had flamboyant pink and blue hair, unsightly large teeth, and green tear marks. As you could probably guess this might cause quite a stir in many of the humans they passed. If the facial features and hair wasn't enough, Szayel had also either forgotten or had been too lazy/uncaring to change the Espada's uniforms. So yea, that was probably were all the trouble for our poor Espada started.

Ulquiorra stalked sulkily down the street, trying to stay as far from Grimmjow and Nnoitra as he could. The two had been fighting with ever human that they say 'were picking a fight', as far as Ulquiorra could tell none of the humans had said a thing to their weird little group. But that didn't stop the two morons from blaming the humans for their fighting addiction. When Harribel brought up the fact that the humans hadn't said anything Grimmjow went on to say how 'they were picking the fight with their eyes!' and then proceed to beat up another poor soul who happened to be crossing his path. And then Nnoitra, being the idiot that he is, tried flirting/groping Harribel. Who then proceeded to beat the shit out of him.

Ulquiorra couldn't speak for anyone else, but he was silently cheering her on the whole way. Although he did think he heard Szayel say something about the 'stupid son-of-a-bitch deserves it'. He was not entirely sure though.

Either way the Quarto Espada couldn't really blame the human's for staring at Grimmjow, with his blue hair, or Nnoitra with his humongous teeth, or even really Szayel because come on would you not stare?

What he couldn't understand though was their staring at him. Yes HIM, what did he have that could be so weird to them? I mean he didn't have weirdly colored hair, or hideous teeth. So what was their problem?

"Um Harribel?" Ulquiorra said turning to the blond on his right. She had moved to stand beside him after her little beat down with Nnoitra.

"Yes?" She asked looking slightly annoyed.

"Why are people staring at me?"

"You interrupt me for that?" _Interrupt you from what?_ Ulquiorra though, but decided against voicing this question. He didn't want to get a beat down like Nnoitra did…every day… all the time…Actually Ulquiorra had started to believe that he liked being beat up by now. He couldn't say he would put it past Nnoitra.

"Well, I mean I can kind of understand them staring at Nnoitra, Grimmjow, and Szayel, but why me?"

Harribel sighed and had a look on her face that said 'Oh Aizen-sama why could you not make the Espada have a few more IQ points then ten'. "Ulquiorra you are wearing a pristine white coat, with a pristine white uniform underneath, following an obsessively clean dictator, with his two minions one which would steal the candy, crib, stroller, and maybe even the baby itself, just because, and the other who would be lecturing him on stealing candy from the baby, but probably would not even notice the baby itself was stolen. Followed by ten other minions each having their own set of mental problems. Let's not forget they are ALL wearing white! If all this is not enough, then how about this, have you ever looked in a fucking mirror!? You are the KING of the Emo's! You have fucking green tear marks running down your face! I would say this is a reason to stare! "

Ulquiorra stared at her.

Everyone else had stopped what they were doing to stare at her as well. Aizen and his little posy had turned around and were staring wide eyed at her. Actually only Aizen did that. Tousen had a bandage wrapped around his eyes so he couldn't actually stare but he was trying his hardest. Gin of course had the trademark smile on, but inside he was wearing the same expression as Aizen. And Grimmjow had a poor boy by the shirt fist raised for the punch when he froze. This luckily gave the boy plenty of time to get away, but it didn't make Grimmjow any happier.

Harribel coughed before saying, "Sorry, had to get that out of my system," before proceeding in the direction of the apartment.

The rest not knowing what else to do followed.

At least Ulquiorra finally got why people were staring. They weren't staring at him, oh no. They were staring at Harribel they could sense she was about to blow up! Ulquiorra had read somewhere once that animals possessed certain instincts and that's all humans were right? So that must be the explanation!

Poor Ulquiorra he would never truly understand his naivety or maybe a better world, stupidity…

The Espada arrived at their destination about ten minutes after Harribel's little anger epidemic. For the most part the rest of the trip had been pretty quite everyone was to shell shocked at the outburst to really get loud again.

The spell was unfortunately broken when they arrived at the apartment by none other than, whom else, Grimmjow.

"We're fuckin staying here?!" He bellowed.

Ulquiorra sighed he couldn't see the big deal. Sure it looked more like a creepy old mansion, the roof looked like it was about to collapse, there were some gravestones out front, a few hands, legs, feet and other body parts in the trees, and he could of sworn he just saw a ghost walking around upstairs. But any place Aizen-sama picked had to be perfect. So this must have been a five star resort! Or so he had read.

"Well…The magazine said it was five stares," Aizen said looking a bit skeptical.

See? Five stars what'd he tell you?

Gin shrugged, "Meh, might as well start gettin' used to the place," he said practically skipping up the steps to the house. Gin would be completely comfortable here; it was almost as creepy as him. Almost.

The others of course followed a bit more wearily. The Espada glanced at each other before they started fighting and pushing one and other trying to get someone else at to the front.

"Are ya guy's commin?" Gin called from the doorway. Having been facing the group lined up on the sidewalk and not the door, Gin didn't notice something the rest of them did.

Aizen opened and closed his mouth a few times looking as though he was too scared to talk. Several of the Espada mimicked this including Szayel, Nnoitra, Zommari, Yammy, Grimmjow, and Aaroniero. Harribel looked somewhat bored, Stark had passed out on the floor, and Barragan was well ranting about, as we could all guess, kids. Now Ulquiorra was gapping as well but he wasn't actually to surprised he just wanted to follow his idols lead.

Gin turned his head in a questioning way "Hmm? What's up guy?" he questioned completely oblivious.

Grimmjow was about to start hyperventilating so he decided to yell, "What's up?! You have a freaking hand behind you!" Now this was true, there was a strangely grotesque bluish green, giant hand with warts all over it inching towards Gins back. Now Gin didn't realize the…strangeness of this hand so he though obviously that the comment was rather stupid as was their fear.

"Now, why would yall be so scared of somethin like that?" Gin said turning around, but before he could go the full three hundred and sixty degrees the hand snatched his uniform and pulled him into the house.

Nnoitra screamed and fainted, which woke up Stark.

"Wha? Huh? What happened?" He asked with a slightly slurred voice.

"Gins been kidnapped by the abominable snowman's hairless brother, in the House of Horrors," Harribel explained indifferently.

"Oh," Stark said. It was quite for a few seconds before,

_Bam!_

"Ohmygoohmygodohmygodwhatwasthat?!" Grimmjow asked jumping up and down and wiggling his arms around in a scared fashion.

Ulquiorra would have found this funny had he not been so terrified.

"Gosh you baby it was just Stark," Szayel said. Like he was one to talk he was shaking in his boots as well.

It was true though Stark was out cold, face planted to the ground as if it owned it.

"Um…Do we have to go in there?" Nnoitra asked, picking himself up off the ground.

Aizen swallowed, he could just leave now and he would defiantly be safe, but if he did that his right hand man would be stuck inside the house, and then Tousen would have to take over that spot. Aizen shivered just thinking about the hours of listening to the ranting on justice. Don't get him wrong Gin was no picnic in the park either, but at least he was easily distracted! Plus he was the one who would always delay Tousen by messing with the hallways. Still the mansion was pretty scary…

"Justice will prevail!" Someone screamed suddenly, bet you can't guess who that is…

"If Gin dies in there then justice has prevailed! If he lives then justice has prevailed! Justice shall always prevail!"

"Dud you're not even making any sense," Aaroniero said crossing his arms.

"JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Aizen made up his mind; they were going to get Gin.

After clearing his throat to get the Espada's attention, Aizen announced this decision to the Espada, of course no one dared complain, not to his face anyways.

Then they just stood there staring at the gate. No-one was about to make the first move so Aizen sighed it was either this or Tousen, he thought before slowly opening the gate. The Gate squeaked eerily, a sound neither the espada nor the shinigami liked very much.

Creeping forward slowly the group made their way towards the house careful not to step off the path or into any of the holes that littered the area.

About halfway through, just when they were starting to get used to the creepiness, a loud moaning sound could be heard coming from the direction of the woods. Aizen flipped, as did everyone else.

"Save me Tousen! Save me! I'm too young to die!!!!!" Aizen screamed as he launched himself behind Tousen cowering shamelessly. Everyone was too freaked out to mention the fact that he was in fact already dead, and he sure as hell was NOT young.

Ulquiorra saw his leaders act an act of bravery, and yes Ulquiorra does seem to have a bit of brain damage. But anyways he saw his leader's action as an act of bravery and decided to do the same, but seeing as Tousen was already sheltering Aizen, Ulquiorra just decided to jump behind the person standing closest to him. Who happened to be rather freaked out and in some major need of catnip.

"Save me whoever you are! Save me! I'm too young to die!!!" Ulqui, this time, screamed cowering behind Grimmjow, who almost had a heart attack at the sudden outburst.

"Oi, Get off me you emo freak!" He yelled once he regained his composure trying to pry the scary Ulquiorra off him. Seriously this Ulquiorra was scarier than any other Ulquiorra he had seen.

Before any more fighting could commence, the door to the house slammed open and out stormed an angry Gin, "Be quite will ya? I and my new best bud are trying to have a civilized conversation!"

Now that was surprising. Gin did not tend to have and _civilized_ conversations.

That wasn't what bothered Aizen though, what bothered him was the 'my new best bud' part.

"G-Gin I-I thought that we w-were best buds…" He said trembling slightly.

Gin turned back towards the house without saying a thing and slammed the door shut on them.

"Wow," Nnoitra laughed, "what'd ya do to piss him off?"

Aizen glared at him, effectively shutting Nnoitra up, before gathering his bearings and stalking off towards the house. No one steals his best friend and gets away with it! Of course he had never considered Gin his best friend before now, but whatever floats his boat.

So after entering the rickety old house Aizen and his crew set off for the light that shone under one the doors in the mansion. Effectively throwing it open and breaking it. Yea, because that would get someone to forgive you.

Gin was sitting across from a young man with slicked back black hair, a butler's suite on and glasses. To be truthful he defiantly did not look to happy about the door either.

"Ello Aizen-san care for some tea?" Gin asked smiling, almost as if the incident outside had never happened.

Aizen was still horrified though, he twitched a few times before screaming.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why cruel fate?! Why?!"

At this I think everyone was a bit confused.

"Aizen-sama I don't get it what's the matter?" Ulquiorra asked like the good little minion he was.

The leader sniffled a few times before replying, "He-he," Aizen said pointing towards the man in black, who raised an eyebrow at the strange behavior.

"Yes, that's creepy-Transylvanian-dude number one, what about him?" Szayel said

"Creepy-Transylvanian- dude number one?" Nnoitra asked.

"Yep, because we might meet more than one during our stay here."

"How do you know he's Transylvanian though?"

"Just a feeling."

"Will you two shut up?" Harribel asked hitting them bother upside the head. Making them wince.

"He turned Gin British!" Aizen suddenly yelled, before he collapsed into a crying heap.

Everyone stared at the balling man.

"Yep, he is officially crazy," Yammy said.

"Oh, wow amazing work Grimmjow you couldn't figure that out when he betrayed soul society to come live in dessert, with a smiling freak, and a blind man who doesn't shut up about justice? Maybe the fact that he was trying to take over all three fucking worlds tipped you off as well?!" Grimmjow growled glaring at Yammy.

"Hey, there's no need to get all rude," He complained.

"Shut up idiot!"

"You're the Idiot!"

"Harribel baby come to daddy!"

"Nnoitra I swear to Aizen-sama I will kill you!"

_Crying _"Why, oh why? What did I ever do to you fate?" _more crying _

"Aaroniero do you feel like fighting me?" Zommari asked

"Why yes, yes I do."

As all of this was going on Ulquiorra just stared at the two men sitting in front of him. After a few seconds of background fighting Gin started waving to Ulquiorra, who almost, almost waved back. Luckily he was able to restrain himself. He still had his dignity after all.

Now due to the fighting, and the waving, and the crying, and the ignoring the opening of the door on the other side of the room was left unnoticed by all but one.

"Ah there you are Monty I was just about to explain to our guest the rules of the house!"

Hearing his voice the overall fighting, ignoring, and balling ceased the waving, though, did not. For the man was in fact Transylvanian, why then, Gin had acted British before was not known…

Apart from that when they saw this 'Monty' fellow a few of the- okay all of the Espada had panic attacks.

Monty was about huge, he even dwarfed Nnoitra, and that was a feat! Not only that but for some odd reason he was a bluish green color, as was explained before, but he was defiantly not hairless, far from it actually.

Before Ulquiorra was able to analyze the…thing…further he felt something grab the back of his shirt and vaguely noticed Aizen doing the same to Gin, who was still waving, and was quickly pulled out of the house, through the gate and down the street. He watched as the House of Horrors faded from view.

All he really was thinking about though was chicken.

_To Be Continued…_

**I think I might make them all go back to the haunted house again later…**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or its characters! **

**Warning: Okay so a bit of shounen-ai, and cussing.**

**And I must say it's rather amazing I have as many reviews as I do this story kind of sucks, so thank you all who have been faithfully reviewing! I probably would not even have the resolve to update at all if not for you! And sorry about the constant slow updates, I'll try and start updating sooner from now on!**

**Human World Pandemonium**

"So this is where we're staying?" Grimmjow asked glaring at the apartment complex in front of him.

"Yep," Gin said grinning, like always.

The new apartment was, well more like an apartment then the, for lack of better wording, the haunted mansion. Though as Szayel had pointed out while Aizen, Grimmjow, Yammy, Zommari, and Nnoitra were running around screaming bloody murder, it had never been proved that the house had been haunted.

Ulquiorra personally was more frightened of Szayels chicken then of that place, but whatever.

Aizen sighed; this place was not where he had wanted to spend his vacation. The new place was defiantly not big enough for him, but he would have to deal with it. This was the only place that seemed to have an opening for their little group, and he couldn't very well let them all split up. That would just be bad.

"Come on we have to go check in," he mumbled leading the espada to the door of this new hotel.

Inside was not much better than the outside not that either was actually bad. Like at all. Aizen was just too picky but you would never catch Ulquiorra saying that.

"Hello, what can I do for you today?" The girl at the front desk asked happily as the group neared.

"I have a few ideas about what you can do for me." Nnoitra said smiling like the big creep he was.

The girl continued smiling, "well I have a few things you could do for me as well," she said. Nnoitra's smile just got wider. He was about to say something in reply when Aizen interrupted him.

"We have reservations under Aizen the Almighty Supreme Ruler of Greatness."

The girl stared at him for a second like he was a nut. "Um," she looked down and started typing furiously at the computer "I don't believe we have any reservations under that name…"

Aizen looked like someone had just slapped him. "You sure?"

"Quite."

"How about the Supreme Lord Aizen of Hueco Mundo?"

"Uh, no, no I don't believe so."

"The Greatness that is Aizen?"

"Nope"

"Awesome Aizen?"

"No, sir sorry."

"How about Aizen-sama?" He said looking desperate

"I am truly sorry sir but we don't have anything for you…" The girl was noticeably starting to get freaked out.

"Fine," Aizen huffed "How about under Souske?"

The girls eyebrows furrowed in annoyance before checking. "Ah," She said smiling, "Aizen right?"

Aizen glared, "Yes."

"Not the brightest crown in the box now is she?" Grimmjow muttered Szayel nodded in agreement, Nnoitra didn't seem to care about brains though. He just continued staring at her, thinking about things I don't want to get into right now.

"Okay, now for the room numbers…ah! Here they are! You've got room 108, 109, 110, 111, and 112. Those should all be one the fourth floor, and please enjoy your stay here!" The receptionist said smiling; she was trying to get rid of them as quickly as she could. Unfortunately, that just wouldn't happen, nobody hurries Aizen the Great!

Ulquiorra did a bit of math in his head, and came to the conclusion that there were only five rooms, and thirteen guests. Which means everybody but one person would have to share a room with someone. The only people who even had the remote possibility of getting the extra room would be either Aizen-sama or Harribel. Harribel because she was the only girl and probably would not want to stay with any of the guys. Aizen-sama because…well, he's Aizen-sama…

"Um, I don't think that's right, I could have sworn I rented more than one room…" Aizen said looking confused; he could've sworn he had asked for thirteen rooms. He hadn't wanted the espada fighting too much and each having their, own room would help keep the destruction to a minimum, or so he had hoped.

Then again having been half way hysterical from the haunting incident when ordering the rooms might have messed him up a bit. The screaming Grimmjow, and creepily laughing Gin hadn't helped much either.

The girl looked annoyed, again. "I'm sorry sir, but it clearly says that you have rooms 108, 109, 110, and 112. It says nothing about rooms 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129,-"

"Okay! Seesh we get the point lady just shut up!" Grimmjow yelled, making some of the other customers look at them strangely.

The girl glared, "sorry sir," she forced out sounding murderous, "but that's all I have for you."

Grimmjow growled, which of course caused a lot more people to stop and stare at them.

"Grimmjow, calm down you're disturbing the other guests," Aizen snapped.

The receptionist looked triumphant for a second before he turned to her.

"And you," He said pointing his finger at the girl dangerously (if that's even possible) "let me see that machine of yours!" He yelled before pouncing at the computer.

Surprise was the lady's first reaction, but she quickly got over it and began to wrestle with Aizen over the computer.

"Give it back!" She screamed jerking the computer screen away before he could get a good look.

"No! Not until you let me see!" Aizen grabbed hold of the computer trying to get the girl to let go, she was stronger than she looked though, and was able to keep a firm hold.

"Get off you crazy freak! I'll call security!" She threatened trying to figure out a way to get to the phone and keep a hold on the computer at the same time.

"Oh, no you won't! Gin get the phone!" Aizen called back to the silver haired man. Gin was already way ahead of him he had cut the cords when they first arrived. Nobody had noticed but he had done it!

As they fought over the monitor Grimmjow scoffed, "what an idiot," he mumbled.

"You are correct for once trash, the girl is abnormally stupid." Ulquiorra said observing the scene before him; he of course found no humor in this situation unlike most everyone else.

"Che, how do you know I was talking about the girl, huh?" Grimmjow asked just to grate Ulquiorra's nerves. He had of course originally been talking about the girl, but Aizen was not being the smartest fellow in the world either. Not that he minded being in trouble with a higher authority, he just really wanted to sleep. Today had been too busy for his liking.

Scary and cats did not work well together.

Ulquiorra couldn't believe this! Had Grimmjow seriously just insinuated that his Aizen-sama was stupid?! The blasphemy! SACRELIEGE!!!!!!!

"Grimmjow," Ulquiorra said trying to keep his cool, but it was soooo hard not to just knock Grimmjow a new one! "Watch what you say about Aizen-sama."

Grimmjow smirked nothing seemed to make him happier then pissing off Ulquiorra. Except maybe fighting…and cake, you couldn't forget the cake.

"Hah and why exactly would I do that?"

Ulquiorra glared, "Grimmjow, I'm warning you," He had had just about enough of the blue haired cretin!

"What? What do think you're going to do emo boy? You gonna go crying to Aizen-sama?" Grimmjow said making a mocking face and acting as if he were crying.

That was it! Ulquiorra had had enough of Grimmjow's disobedience! "I am not a freaking EMO!" Ulquiorra screamed pouncing on the other.

Grimmjow was taken by surprise at first, but quickly gathered his bearings as he realized what was happening. He smiled his crazy person smile and began fighting.

Gin having been watching the two, just waiting for the opportune moment almost started jumping up and down when the fight broke out. He couldn't hold it in though. Gin started jumping up and down and yelled at the top of his lungs, "Catfight!"

This caused everyone to stop what they were doing to look at the crazy silver haired man. Who was still jumping.

Among those who stopped was Aizen. When the receptionist noticed this she ripped the monitor out of his grasp causing the man to lose his balance and fall smack onto the floor.

This of course caused Ulquiorra to freeze, which forced Grimmjow to stop. Grimmjow had had the advantage when the sudden stop happened. He had been on top of Ulquiorra trying to pin the smaller of the two down. This meant that the two had ended up in a very compromising situation with Grimmjow on top of Ulquiorra and a lot of people staring.

Szayel suddenly had a very ingenious evil ideal. He smiled reaching for his bag, which had some of his science equipment in it and a few other precious items.

Gin also noticed the position of the two, and smiled as he noticed Szayel reaching for something and remembered what it was the he had gotten the scientist for a birthday present last year. It had been meant as a joke, but it seemed the scientist had decided to keep the object and just get rid of a few things that were one it.

Ulquiorra noticed that there was complete silence in the previously noisy reception area, but that was rather trivial at the moment compared to Aizen-sama's fall. He prayed that he had not been hurt during said fall.

Grimmjow on the other hand was ecstatic! He had just beaten Ulquiorra! Okay so it wasn't completely fair, seeing as the other had been distracted and this wasn't much of a real fight. As Gin had said it did more so resemble a 'catfight' Grimmjow refused to use that term though, it seemed kind of offensive to him!

Seeing as both Grimmjow and Ulquiorra were distracted neither of them noticed what Szayel was doing. That is until they were part way blinded by a flash of light. Then it struck home what position they were in.

Ulquiorra stared at the grinning Szayel rather surprised. He felt a weight quickly remove itself from him, and he sat up carefully still a little confused. Grimmjow on the other hand was just pissed.

"Dammit Szayel, What the hell was that?!" He screamed.

"Well Grimmjow I would say it's a camera, please don't tell me you are so stupid you don't even know what that is?" Szayel said smirking.

This did not go over well with Grimmjow, "Give me that you bastard!" He yelled advancing towards the pink haired man.

Szayel decided to be smart and started running.

Grimmjow growled and started running after him. Unbeknownst to Grimmjow Szayel had a plan.

The scientist ran right by Gin giving him a silent message 'you help me, and I'll share profit with you'. Gin decided to take this offer. It seemed like too much fun to just pass up.

As Grimmjow ran past him, blinded by furry, he didn't even notice the leg that popped out in front of him; making him fall and allowing Szayel to get away. It didn't take a genius though to figure out who had tripped him.

"What the-" Grimmjow turned around to yell at the shinigami, but was stopped by a pissed off looking Aizen.

"Grimmjow what do you think you are doing?" He asked angrily, he was not a happy camper that much was obvious.

Grimmjow decided to be wise and kept his mouth shut, no one wants to die, he was no exception.

"Ulquiorra!" Aizen said turning to the espada, seeing as he wouldn't be getting anything more out of the Sexta.

He lost his resolve to reprimand the fourth however when he saw the heartbroken expression of Ulquiorra's face. He looked like he had just let down his greatest idol. Which he felt he had in a way, he almost looked like he was about to start crying!

Aizen cleared his throat, "well it doesn't matter let's just get our room arrangement sorted out." Aizen announced walking off towards the elevator.

Aizen stopped partway and turned back to the receptionist "And madam I am terribly sorry for all the trouble they've caused here today, I hope you can forgive them."

No-one decided to mention the fact that he had been the one causing her the most problems…

To Be Continued…


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters.**

**Warning: OOC-ness, bad language, and a bit of shounen-ai though I don't really think there's any in this chapter…**

**And okay really sorry about the late update between homecoming and being sick this whole week I've kind of just been lazily. So truly I am very sorry and thanks to everyone who reviews! Cookies and Milk galore! =D**

**Human World Pandemonium**

Aizen lead the espada away from the receptionist and the two death matches that had been ready to start. Though Aizen vs. Receptionist might be pretty funny to watch and Grimmjow vs. Szayel was going to happen whether Aizen wanted it to or not…That aside, there were other issues that demanded his attention. For example the rooming arrangement was one issue that was demanded and what fun deciding that will be.

Once the group had made its way to the center of the room there was an uncomfortable silence as the espada stood around waiting for someone else to take the initiative of complaining to their leader about the rooms. Aizen, on the other hand, was just trying to figure out how he could get the one free room and somehow not piss Harribel off too much.

"So uh… who's rooming with whom?" Stark groaned lazily. He truthfully didn't care too much long as he didn't get roomed with Grimmjow or Nnoitra he was good. Though it probably wouldn't be to fun rooming with Zommari or Aaroniero or Szayel or Gin or well anyone… But let's face it Harribel was a girl and Aizen was the leader if he wanted his own room, then he was screwed…

"I'll room with you Starky-chan~," A somewhat annoying voice said.

The owner of that accursed voice was one of the last people Stark wanted to room with; unfortunately for him he was not good at making up excuses. "Uh, I'm sorry Gin I'm uh, allergic to uh creepiness…and smiles and grey hair and uh something…"

"Ah that's too bad," Gin pouted. "You never seemed ta have any allergies 'round me before though now did ya?" Gin asked smiling again.

Stark started sweating and laughed nervously. "That's uh because I always took my medicine and uh I forgot it and um, uh… right Szayel you always make the medicine."

"Yea, yea, sure whatever," Szayel called. He hadn't actually heard the question nor was he paying much attention to the conversation. He was a little busy trying to avoid Grimmjow. The two were dogging around Nnoitra and Yammy. Grimmjow, who unfortunately could not get the camera back, was pretty mad at the evasive genius.

"You see medication!" Stark said quickly, backing up.

"Eh, Starky-chan why are ya runnin' away?"

"W-well Gin, you kind of creep me out…" He said backing up quicker.

"Well that's not a very nice thing ta say," Gin said walking stalking after the now running Stark.

"I did not sign up for this!" Stark yelled as Gin started chasing after him, thoroughly hating his life at the moment.

Aizen sighed his espada were not the brightest people in the world, but then again neither was he…

"Aizen-sama," Ulquiorra said trying to catch the attention of their somewhat depressed leader.

Sighing one last time Aizen turned to face Ulquiorra and with a tired voice asked "Yes, what is it Ulquiorra?"

"Um, about the rooming assignments,"

"That's right!" Aizen said jumping and rudely interrupting the fourth.

"Gin, get over here and stop harassing Stark we need to figure out the rooming!" He called over to the silver headed man who had Stark backed up into a corner.

"Ah, but that's what me and Starky-chan here are trying to figure out," Gin pouted.

"Doesn't matter just get over here." Aizen said turning to direct the others.

"Well, looks like we probly won't be roomin' together Starky, how sad." Gin said walking away. Stark promptly fainted with relief as he heard this. Not only would he not have to room with the freak, but he was still alive!

Grimmjow gave one last growl to Szayel, who was hiding behind a somewhat annoyed Nnoitra, before stalking off to join the other espada gathered around Aizen.

"Seeing as how there are no other options we are now presented with the task of figuring out suitable rooming arrangements for each of you espada here." Aizen said looking at each of the espada in turn as if daring them to try and talk back. Grimmjow seemed about to take that challenge but thought better of it. Seeing as how their leader had a big say in whom they would be rooming with it probably would now be the best ideal to piss him off, not that he hadn't done that before or anything.

"Any suggestions?" Said leader asked.

Harribel raised her hand to catch the others attention before speaking, "yea, how about killing Nnoitra, package Grimmjow and send him to Cuba, donate Szayel to science, and putting Ulquiorra and Gin in a mental hospital, does that work?"

Everyone paused to stare at her.

"Uh," Aizen started unsure exactly what was going on in Harribels head, "No, no I don't think that would work out to well…"

"It really wouldn't," Zommari said thinking. "I mean we could kill Nnoitra he shouldn't be hard to replace,"

"Hey!" Nnoitra shouted indignantly.

"But sending Grimmjow to Cuba might result in a few wars and that wouldn't really be to fun for us who would have to clean up his mess. Szayel would probably convince the scientists to let him work with them; he would then betray them, steal their experiments and weapons, and then sell the stolen items to foreign world powers. Ulquiorra would probably have a mental breakdown and that kind of just speaks for itself on the bad meter. Not to mention with Gin in the same hospital, I just feel bad for that poor staff..."

Harribel just shrugged, "I still say it's worth a shot."

"As much as I would love to follow your suggestion Harribel, for now I think it might be best to just you know figure out the rooming." Aizen said trying to get everyone back on track and away from the somewhat disturbing conversation.

Harribel scoffed, "fine but just so you know I think we should try it."

Aizen coughed, "Uh yeah, ok! Let's move on shall we? Um…" Aizen scanned through the group standing in front of them trying to decide who to start with. "How about Aaroniero and Zommari you two can share room 108 right?"

The two said espada just looked at each other before shrugging and turning back to Aizen. "I guess so long as Aaron-Aaroni-Aa-Aaeron," poor Zommari he just couldn't figure out to say his new roommates name is all. Sadly that roommate seems to have reached his last straw, to many mess ups on a person's name could cause anyone to blow.

"My name is fucking Aaroniero! A-a-e-r-o-n-i-o-r-o!" His first head screeched angrily making Zommari wince.

"You idiot, you spelled our name wrong you bastard!" Aaroniero's second head yelled, "Its A-a-r-o-n-i-e-r-o!"

"Don't call me names! Mom told you to stop that!" The first head replied moving closer to the second.

Mr. Head #2 took this as a challenge and moved in as well. "Do you see Mom here?! Huh, do you, you freaking idiot!"

"Stop cussing it's rude!"

"Freaking is not a freaking cussword moron!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is-" before head #1 could finish his reply Grimmjow being the genius he is, decided to use his infinite intelligence to shut the two up. He managed this seemingly undoable task by taking advantage of the two's closeness to each other and gave them a sharp push, which made the two bang heads effectively shutting them up.

Aizen sighed as Aaroniero hit the ground seeing stars. This was not how he had planned to spend his vacation.

"Oh, oh Aizen-sama, Aizen-sama!" Yammy called waving his hand around wildly asking to be called on.

Aizen gave his tenth espada a tired look, "Yes Yammy, what do you want?" He asked annoyance painfully obvious in his voice. Luckily Yammy did not notice this annoyance so it didn't deter him.

"Can I room with you? Huh, can I can I?" Yammy asked jumping up and down excitedly and making the hotel move a bit along with him. Aizen twitched. Just the thought of rooming with Yammy made him feel ill and very, very tired.

"I'm sorry Yammy, but I think it would be a better ideal for you to room with Stark."

Yammy's face fell slightly at first but he quickly perked up again, "Ok!"

Stark's head shot up off the floor. It had taken him a few seconds but once Aizen's words registered, they registered, and hard. All he could force out though was a simple, shocked, and slightly terrified "what?"

"I said you and Yammy will be sharing a room, how about room 109 does that work?" Aizen asked praying that Stark would just go back to sleep.

Stark was shell shocked, terror written plainly on his face. How would he be able to get his 22 hours of sleep rooming with THAT thing?

Aizen seeing this as an opportunity to move on before any objections could be spoken turned to Tousen. "I trust you and Barragan will get along?" He asked thought for some reason Tousen felt as though this was more of an order than a question.

"As long as he does not mess with justice than it shall prevail! All hail justice!" I think we can all guess who said this.

Barragan huffed, "Stupid kids, don't understand what real justice is!"

Oh burn. Tousen did not take this all too well. "You-you dare say I don't know what real justice is?! How dare you?!"

"You wouldn't understand real justice if it bit you in the butt," Barragan growled, annoyed.

Tousen was flushed with anger and started screaming about justice and old men. Barragan of course had to scream back yelling about young people and ignorance.

"I can see you two will get along just fine!" Aizen said turning to Gin. "Do we have people to fill their spots if they die on this trip?" He whispered to the smiling man.

Gin grinned, "Nope, but I'm sure Wonderwiess wouldn't mind tryin' ta fill one of the espada's places."

Aizen looked defeated. "Fine, Szayel you room with Nnoitra."

Nnoitra scoffed. "I'm not rooming with science freak over there," He said pointing towards Szayel, "Sorry dude but I don't won't any of my precious organs donated to science, one organ in particular."

"Your heart?" Ulquiorra asked curiously. Okay even he would admit it was a pretty stupid question if you thought about it. Espada don't have hearts. Grimmjow didn't take kindly to stupid questions though, even if they were simply a mistake.

"What are you an idiot? That's right of course you are! Espada don't have hearts emo-boy!"

Ulquiorra glared at the other, "Well that's rich, you calling me an idiot. That's kind of like the pot calling the kettle black, now isn't it?"

"The what calling the what, what?" Grimmjow asked both confused and annoyed.

The fourth let off a victorious smile, "my point exactly." Grimmjow growled.

"What about the brain it's a pretty important organ." Yammy said distracting the others so another fight wouldn't break out.

"Che, I wasn't talking about either of those." Nnoitra said smiling wickedly.

Szayel glared at him, "trust me I would not want to get close to that accursed organ. I believe Harribel would agree with me on that."

Harribel mentally nodded her agreement, but physically did nothing. Nnoitra glared back at Szayel, "Like I would let you even if you begged!" _And I'll be having Harribel near it very soon. _Nnoitra decided to not say this part out loud. It would probably ruin the whole plan if he did, and that would just be stupid.

"Like I would beg, you big toothed, spoon shaped freak!" Szayel knew spoon man was sensitive about those two subjects, but they just kind of slipped out. In his defense Nnoitra had it coming!

Nnoitra was furious by now. "Stupid mad, perverted scientist, you've got no right to be talking about other's outward appearance you pink haired freak!"

"Oh really? I'm the pervert?" Szayel said pointing to himself. He laughed, "Do you even listen to yourself when you talk? Or to your thoughts? I swear Nnoitra you are the most perverted person I have ever met!"

The fifth espada had turned an interesting shade of red and shot around to face Aizen. "Aizen-sama I will not room with this little piece of shit! I swear I will kill him in his sleep!"

Aizen shook his head, "I'm sorry Nnoitra but I've made my decision and that's final."

"Why?! Can't I room with Grimmjow?! Or even fucking Ulquiorra I don't care just not with him!" Nnoitra pleaded pointing accusingly at Szayel.

"I agree I do not want to spend my vacation with him!"

"Szayel, Nnoitra, I'm sorry but you two will room together and you will get along you understand?" Aizen spoke as if talking to two little kids but with enough authority to make the arguing espada shut up.

Looking down at their feet, ashamed, the two replied, "Yes Aizen-sama."

The leader nodded. "Good, now Grimmjow, Ulquiorra you two will-"

Grimmjow rudely cut him off before he could even finish talking. "Fuck no! I will not be sharing a room with the Emo-Lord over there!" He said jerking his head in the direction of Ulquiorra.

The sad espada sighed, saying, "trust me, it is not my greatest pleasure to be rooming with the likes of you either. But for Aizen-sama I will readily take on anything. For duty, and honor I will face the bloodshed of battle. Make my way through the dark abyss of life and fight off the monsters that threaten my leader and his plans. There may come a day when I feel darkness closing in around me, but I will not give in! For I must defeat those demons and make his plans come true! For the sake of my king, brothers will you not stand and fight with me? Is there no greater end to life than one in which you die for your-"

Grimmjow glared, cutting yet another person off "The fuck you talking about crazy bastard?"

Ulquiorra's face remained blank as he stared at Grimmjow, "you know it's rude to cut people off."

Aizen spoke quickly hoping to prevent a future fight, "I'll be rooming with Gin and Harribel can have the free room." He had actually been hoping to get the free room, but that would probably start a whole new set of fights and he just wanted to go to bed.

So with their new rooming assignments having been made, the espada grudgingly made their separate ways to their new rooms, praying that somehow their new roommate might meet his end along the way.

To Be Continued…

And sorry again about the late update…


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Espada nor do I own Bleach. I don't own ZombieLand either just so you know.**

**Warning: Well there's some definite cussing, and again some shounen-ai, as well as ooc-ness especially for Aizen, but that's been in pretty much every chapter so far so yea… **

**Also I'm terribly sorry about the late update. I really don't know what schools are thinking now a day's. I mean how many after-school projects, home projects, and essay's do they think one person can do in a week? Obviously more than six… And I give a big thanks to crimsonwolf333 who has reviewed like every chapter of this stupid story! Also thanks to Azelf1717, xXhitsugayaXx, tomia, and Lemonad who have all reviewed more than once. Thank you guys! Have a fake imaginary cookie (not trying to make you feel sad though). Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Once, twice, or a million times, reviews are always welcome no matter how many times you do it! I guess except for spam…that one's not very welcome…or certain flames…you know the non-constructive kind.**

**Espada World Pandemonium**

The next day the espada were all settled into their own separate rooms. Of course this wasn't accomplished without a few bruises and some nasty words, but really, what else would you expect from the espada?

And this is where Ulquiorra is, glaring at Grimmjow, who had a growing bruise on the side of his cheek. A bruise that was in the exact same place as the one Ulquiorra was sporting. The two espada were fighting about something that was about as pointless as digital cookies…Get people all excited about getting a warm delicious cookie and then BAM! All you get is a broken heart and an imaginary inedible cookie…sad.

"It's spelled F-E-B-U-R-A-R-Y you piece of shit emo!" Grimmjow yelled clenching his fists.

"Grimmjow your stupidity truly astounds me," Ulquiorra said in his same monotone voice. "It's obviously F-E-B-U-A-R-Y."

Grimmjow glared at the somewhat smug looking espada in front of him. "MY stupidity? What about yours? It is so not spelled like that!"

"Really what a foolish argument it is obvious that my intelligence is superior to your intelligence. In fact I studied the different months of this world and that means that I know how to spell something as simple as this."

"Yea? Well I think you're a crazy-ass emo boy, who just doesn't want to admit he's wrong! Isn't that right emo lord?!"

"Grimmjow really is that the best nickname you have? It's rather pathetic really, kind of like me calling you Kitty-cat boy or something of the like."

"What the fuck did you say?!" Grimmjow growled, what can he say, he was a sensitive kitty…

Ulquiorra sighed sounding overly tired, "I said that it would be like me calling you Kitty-boy. I know that you have the brain size of a squirrel Grimmjow, but try and keep up. Do. You. Understand?"

Grimmjow growled at this, and he almost started hissing. Almost. He still had a bit of dignity though, so he held it in.

"You little piece of shit! You think you're so much better than me just because you're two spots ahead of me! And we all know that you didn't deserve those spots like the rest of us had!" Grimmjow said getting all up into Ulquiorra's personal space.

Ulquiorra's eyes narrowed at this, "Didn't deserve it like the rest of you? How, Grimmjow may I ask, did I deserve my spot?" He said completely forgetting about his comment on how ineloquent the other was with his speech. How many times could someone cuss in a single conversation? Ulquiorra leaned in slightly in a challenging way.

Grimmjow smirked, "You know exactly what I'm talking about. Aizen has a few other uses for you then just assigned missions."

Ulquiorra's normally pale complexion took on a slightly red tint at this. Now neither of them knowed if there was any embarrassment mixed in with it, but they were both pretty certain that there was definitely a butt load of anger in there.

"How dare you," Was all the fourth was able to force out, through all his anger.

And predictably this just made Grimmjow's leer grow. "What cat got your tongue Ulqui?" He asked using Gin's favorite nickname. Later he would shudder and curse himself at the thought of doing anything even remotely Gin-like, but for now he was just enjoying the moment a little too much.

"Grimmjow I'm warning you," before Ulquiorra could finish his sentence another Ulquiorra-deemed-nuisance came busting into the room.

"Hey, Grimmjow do you want to go to the-" Nnoitra stopped in the middle of his sentence and gapped at the sight in front of him. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra were a little too close to one and other by Nnoitra's viewpoint and the, what looked like a blush, on Ulquiorra's face did not seem to help the situation.

Grimmjow glared at Nnoitra for a second wondering what the hell he was doing. That is until he himself realized the compromising situation he was in with one of his least favorite being. Add this with the incident yesterday and their might be a slight problem... So Grimmjow just did what any mortally surprised individual would do, he gapped.

Ulquiorra on the other hand, had realized almost immediately what type of situation the two were in and had already factored in yesterday's incident. Still he was shell-shocked the Nnoitra would actually believe that he and Grimmjow could possible ever be…be…like THAT. He shuddered at the very thought! So Ulquiorra gapped just like the rest of them.

This continued for a few minutes the three of them just staring at each other, surprise obvious on their face. Luckily this trance was broken by Szayel and Yammy coming in.

"What are you doing idiot?" Szayel asked from down the hall. He could only see Nnoitra's gapping face and as of yet, could not tell what was so surprising.

Hearing Szayels voice, before seeing him gave Ulquiorra and Grimmjow time to snap out of their trance-like state and compose at least a small sliver of their long gone dignity. The two quickly separated; unfortunately the blush that now adorned both of their cheeks would not be defeated so easily.

As Yammy and Szayel came to a stand-still beside Nnoitra, Szayel finally began to notice that there was, in fact, something wrong with the espada standing in front of him. Of course Yammy took no notice to this and was rather excited about something that was for now unknown to the two espada standing inside the room.

"Ulquiorra, Ulquiorra," Yammy said happily skipping about as well as someone of his size could skip, into the room. "You going with us too?" He asked as he came to a stop right in front of said fourth.

Ulquiorra peeked around Yammy to look unsurely at Szayel.

The pink haired espada didn't really seem to take note of this, but answered the unasked question either way. "Of course he's coming with us, Aizen ordered for all of the espada to go to the movies with him and that's what's going to happen, whether we like it or not. Now you two," Szayel said gesturing to Grimmjow and Ulquiorra, "get ready and meet us downstairs in about twenty minutes. Yammy you go make sure Stark is ready, if you have to tie him up, gag him, and force him to go every step of the way do so!"

"Okey-dokie," Yammy said joyful skipping back to his room.

A few seconds later a giant crash and a couple of screams lit the air making Nnoitra shudder slightly. "Are you sure that was a good idea?" He asked hesitantly staring at the door Yammy had just disappeared into.

Szayel shrugged. "If it gets the job done than yes it is in fact quite a good idea." Szayel then turned to Nnoitra who shrunk back slightly at his gaze. "Why do you disagree with my tactics?" He asked venom lacing his words.

Nnoitra quickly shook his head. "Good," Szayel said nodding his approval, "come on we have to go get ready and tell Aizen we've finished our mission."

Grimmjow watched as Szayel drug Nnoitra down the hall by his collar, with Nnoitra looking scared for his life. Truthfully he didn't even want to begin to speculate on how or why Nnoitra was scared of some-one three places below him. It's not like he would be afraid of someone that far below him…Then again Szayel was definitely a…uh…special case…That was when he remembered that he was below Ulquiorra…dam…

Szayels voice snapped him out of his thinking, and made both Ulquiorra and Grimmjow turn toward the empty doorway "And it's spelled F-E-B-R-U-A-R-Y you idiot's!"

About thirty minutes after the original announcement of the trip to the theatre all the espada were gathered together around a very annoyed and pissed off Aizen.

Not only had the espada gathered ten minutes later then the assigned time, due to some unwilling members, and a few fights that broke out on the way to the lobby, but the taxi that was supposed to be taking them to the theatre was no-where to be seen.

Being stuck with a group of anger ridden, violent, seven deadly sins filled, espada was not something he wanted. Now he's regretting taking Gin's idea…

As the taxi pulled around the curve to the hotel, Aizen was both relived and pissed off even more. He also believed that maybe he should of ordered a bigger cab, because even if the vehicle in front of him was a van he doubted it could possible hold eleven mad-men, a mad-women, and himself. Because he wouldn't be considered mad of anything…

"Okay, we all are sure as hell not fighting inside of that!" Nnoitra said with disgust jerking his thumb back at the taxi, whose driver promptly honked the horn at them, as if HE had been the one waiting on them.

"I call shot-gun!" Gin said as his hand shot up into the air. Before anyone could object he was already in and buckled.

Aizen glanced over at the once again fighting espada, then at the back of the van, then to gin, then back again. "Gin," he said without taking his eyes off the struggling espada.

"Yep?" Gin asked happily, Aizen thought he might have even heard a bit of smugness in the silver haired man's voice. He decided not to dwell on this though, and instead leaned in closer to the smiling man. "Get. Out. Of. My. Seat." He growled

"Ah, no can do Aizen-san!" Gin said grinning, "I was here first, it ain't very fair to the others' if I allow you ta' take my spot. And I don't see your name on it anywhere."

Aizen scowled at him, but before he could say anything the taxi driver leaned over to Gin to glare at Aizen. "There a problem bub?"

Now normally Aizen would not be afraid of a simple taxi driver, but this one he could make an exception for. The man was so tall he had to hunch over in his seat just to fit inside the van, and though he wasn't amazingly ripped or anything he still seemed like he could knock the senses out of you with one swing of his enormous arm.

So Aizen quickly shook his head and hurriedly pushed the espada into the van.

It was of course very cramped, even though the van had about fourteen seats counting the two occupied by Gin and the driver. The reason behind it being so cramped is that one of the fourteen seats was between the two up front, and the driver had said that, that seat was off limits due to him not wanting to die in a gruesome accident like his brother-in-law. He then started describing said accident in a horrifyingly detailed way.

That leaves eleven seats for the espada, Tousen, and Aizen. Harribel had automatically taken the back seat and when Nnoitra tried to sit back there with her, at first she did nothing. When Nnoitra tried to grope her though, now that was when she drew the line. So due to Nnoitra's stupidity and Harribels sensitivity no-one was allowed to sit back there with her. That eliminated three more seats.

Consequently that meant that eleven violent people now had to share eight seats. As you can probably guess this did not work out so well…

Right behind the driver there were two seats that sat right next to each other, after that there were three more rows of three seats. Seeing as how the back row was taken by Harribel and her temper tantrum, there were really only two more rows of three that the others could occupy. And of course everyone wanted a window seat… including Aizen.

Seeing as how Aizen was the leader he got first pick, so he took the smart choice. Aizen decided to sit in the seat directly behind the driver next to the window where he was safely out of reach of the giant mans hitting range. Unfortunately Aizen hadn't, at the time, thought of where the smoke from the driver's cigar would go…

After Gin and Harribel, Tousen probably got the best seat he sat next to Aizen and made dam sure none of the espada sat in the same row as the two shinigami.

After that the espada kind of just pilled themselves in, pushing and shoving all the way.

It ended up with Zommari sitting directly behind Aizen. Aaroniero next to him, and then Szayel, who actually seemed content with his placing not only was he the closest to the door so he could make a quick brake if necessary, but no-one wanted to sit between him and Aaroniero so it kind of just worked out well for him.

The next row was the most crowded, Nnoitra said in the seat behind Szayel, Grimmjow next to him, then Yammy, and finally poor Ulquiorra who was practically plastered to the window of the van…

If that wasn't bad enough the arguing that ensued was about to make Aizen blow.

"How do you know what's in that stuff? It could very well be a cat!" Nnoitra yelled at Grimmjow, who was sitting right next to him.

"It's fucking chicken! Chicken I tell you! That Chinese food is good, and cat sure as hell does not taste good!" Grimmjow yelled right back.

"I am very sorry to have to get into such an outrageous stupid fight, but Grimmjow how would you know if cat tasted good or not? Wouldn't that be a bit cannibalistic for someone like yourself?" Szayel asked cockily as Nnoitra grinned triumphantly.

"Grimmjow's a cannibal, Grimmjow's a cannibal," Gin sang from up front turning around to look over the top of his seat.

"I am not a fucking cannibal!"

"A lot of people seem to like Pinkie Pie the most, but truthfully I think the best is Starsong I mean she does have an amazing voice and all and Pinkie Pie can kind of annoy me sometimes. What about you Ulquiorra who's your favorite?" Yammy asked enthusiastically.

Ulquiorra sighed and pressed his head even harder into the cold glass of the window, "I don't know Yammy," He said sounding defeated. Aizen actually kind of felt sorry for him. My Little Pony was not a very fun subject to get Yammy on.

"Toola-Roola and Scootaloo are pretty cool too. I wish some-one like Sweetie Belle was a part of the espada as well, I mean than we would have really good food to eat and a lot of it. Nothing like what Szayel makes don't you agree?"

Ulquiorra started banging his head against the window, but this didn't deter Yammy any! "Rainbow Dash can be a bit of a b-word at times but Cheerilee is pretty cool!"

"For the last time it is not Kool-aid!" Aaroniero head #1 said glaring at Zommari.

"It sure looks like Kool-Aid," he said suspiciously, narrowing his eyes at the red liquid the two heads were floating in.

"It's not!" Both head's yelled at the same time.

"Hey, hey Aizen did you know that Grimmy's a kitty cannibal? Huh, huh did ya, did ya?" Gin started jumping up in down in his seat.

This the driver noticed, "hey, stop that! What do think you're doing?! Turn around and sit correctly you want to die of something?!" He yelled between his cigar trying to pull Gin down with one hand and steer with the other. This didn't work to well and the van started swerving like crazy.

The espada either didn't mind or didn't notice because none of them even hesitated to continue their conversations. Gin on the other hand seemed to be enjoying this. He laughed, put his hands in the air, and started shouting "wee" with every turn.

Aizen addressed Tousen without taking his eyes off Gin, "Did some-one give him sugar?" He asked wide eyed. Tousen held a death grip on the seat as if it would help, and shrugged the best he could, "s-seems that way."

Aizen sighed and put his head in his hands he felt sick and the cigar smoke was not helping…

Once the espada arrived at the theatre everyone quickly spilled out of the cat. All except Gin who waved happily at the driver "see you later driver-san! Thank you for bringing us here!"

The driver simply tightened his grip on the steering wheel and grumbled, "Get. Out." Gin shrugged and hopped out of the car allowing Aizen to hand over the money.

"I am truly sorry for any trouble we might have-" As soon as the money was in his hands, the driver sped away cutting Aizen off in the middle of his sentence.

After staring after the taxi with a somewhat longing look in his eye he turned back to the group of espada. Aizen almost had a heart attack though, seeing as how none of them were fighting and were instead looking around with a type of child like wonder on their faces.

A few moments later a small smile lit up Aizen's face as he gazed fondly at the espada. That is until the moment just had to be ruined, by none other than the infamous Gin.

"I want popcorn! Popcorn Aizen-san! Popcorn! Popcorn! Popcorn! Popcorn!" Soon Gin had the other espada all chanting the same thing.

So after a major popcorn fight, a talk from the manager, a crying scared Yammy, an angry old women, and five fist fights with teens, the group headed home talking about ZombieLand and everything else that had happened that day and for probably the first time in…well, ever, the espada were able to spend two hours together with a single fight amongst themselves. Too bad that most of that time, was under the threat of getting kicked out…


End file.
